Tuesday, 22 February 2011

The Sweet Sound Of Gling-Gling

(prose of pure fiction)

My daughter's called Magaddy. She was abducted by a horrible white foreigner with a Scottish accent, who wasn't speaking and who was described by my friend-witness as very sweaty, wearing only a G-string, and with a breath of cod (it was like from two days ago, she says, but my witness couldn't see his face -from the back, ... [inaudible]- ERM she can't recall what she was doing in that position exactly. Her husband was watching football with the invited Choir Hostess AhhJoui, who was wearing something like a choir robe, but shorter). You are not allowed to call my daughter Maga, be very careful. Paypal at the bottom page. -ALL bizarrely coincidential elements (with ANY other story) are... coincidential, AND, SPECULATION. Keep on being generous, Gling-Gling & The Swing7 ;-}


The Story of Our Plan - Desperate Note, immediately after Abduction - in 15 easy steps - ALL COPYRIGHTS RESERVED (you'll soon understand why [muttered laughing, inaudible in microphone]):

1) money on media

2) pity-me money
2b) fresh air, sports, holiday trips, concerts, while we make guess what...(Lippie what did we say? Ah yeah, trips to airports.)

3) regular pity-me money (routine)

4) help me find Magaddy money (well ya know... pink PRs Do spin the expensive way) - and we DON'T like that word, 'expensive', all parents will understand that, mortgages premiums don't grow on trees [smirking and chuckling] F$$K, SHUT YOUR TRAPP LIPPIE! WE'RE STILL ON AIR!

5) court, I sue all these fuckers, and you if you dare say "Maga" - you know...

6) it brings me and HottLippie Healed, me wife, more media money in interviews

7) spin-spin for money (did we EVER mention the word 'money' before?) - be very prudent...Maga is OUR beautiful Daughter! OURS!!!! We're ONE jet away from ANY court thanks to our Frank-Builders money friends - and THANKS Jacques Paille! (in English: "Jack Straw", note of the Editor @ the Dohly Mail)
Lay on Five (grants) Jacques!
-14 Bottles and a bunch of grilled mackrels, por favor, for our friend Jacques- THANKS FLASH¬GORDON for the paid bill 
- ALL in solidarity for findmagaddy.scam now!

8) talk more about props and marketing ploys (for money?), invent new ones. FIND THE MONEY AND PROVE WE'VE MADE IT, fecking toss Amiral, and take heed cause OUR book is no sheetroll.

9) sightings for money, good team

10) pedalo rings found, more money, Magaddy MUST be in every ring - but don't you ever say a word that starts with a P, like Prudence, remember?

11) PRE SALE press articles = eh eh = PAID adverts for:

12)  Ta-lahhhh!  ~~Thee BOOK!~~ = MORE MAAAASSSSSIVE MONEY! (OOOPSSSS! sorry Lippie, I'll let you sort that with Murderok) [excited Gling-Gling, sparkling eyes, bit stumbling:]

We titled it magaddy, caps cost too much money ~you know~ in passing~

13) media again, tv, crocodile pity-me tears, interviews for book etc etc etc = you know, BIG...

14) More suing, blogs, forums, people =  guess! now you get it

15) Note Of The Sacked Editor as he had done a typo by mistake by publishing 'dot scam' instead of 'dot helpful':
 "Even if these cunts were in jail waiting for the death penalty they would be happy cause they would still...


  1. I love the last statement: "Even if these cunts were in jail waiting for the death penalty they would be happy cause they would still...
    MAKE MONEY!!!!!"

    Soooooo true!!!

  2. Hahahaa, this is hilarious!

    Thing is, if the McCann's were in jail, and still making money, they'ed pbe pretty well pissed they couldn't spend it, lol.

    I wonder what would haappen to the twins if they were in jail? Do you think Kate's family or Gerry's would throw a paddy over them cause their only motivation would be the money they inhereit, or would the money be seized by the fraud squad?

    I'm banking on the fraud squad making a mint out of the McCann's, cause somehow the public has to get their money back, lol.

  3. Hi Steph, hi Ka!
    Glad you like the satirical story with purely coincidential events. Ka, good question which I will forward to The Editor ;))-he's in pre-retirement, got removed from the Dohly Mail for investigative journalism, which is as you all know some HEAVY professional misconduct. People in his situation tend to write books...so hopefully...he will speak more soon - hoping for the 12th May.
    Back to your question, imo it would raise a lot of competition - why do you think so many people were queuing to be a member of the company fund?! eh eh

  4. You should be ashamed of yourself.

  5. (to commenter above)
    Can't have a joke, Anonymous? If you don't know what a satire is, get documented, ;)

  6. And you think thats satire? Why was it moved from Haverns public forum then?

  7. Ooh I'm very happy to see it's travelling around then, thanks for this info! are you a "Frank-Builder"? ;) -is this why you don't like this satire? And yes, it is a satire, gosh I think it's pretty obvious! I am passing all your comments to the Editor, who is having great fun at reading them, I was told to let you know. Cheers and thank you for your interest in my blog. Mega*FUND* Line. ( be careful I am going to start charging for my time to reply strangers' comments, will send you the Paypal details soon, sorry but no one likes typing on a Friday night!) Gling gling!

    * ps. please note that at this rate, I might not reply to all your comments, but I might leave them on, it will all depend... do not forget you are at someone's blog, it's like visiting someone at their house, if they don't like what they hear, they don't have to keep you in, or they might just keep you standing there ranting in their hallway, so that their guests have a good laugh at your expense. So thanks for the satirical FREE material!!

  8. Hahahaa, Anonymouse hasn't the bollocks to post anything other than reverse psychology, cause he should be telling the McCann's they should be ashamed of themselves for deliberately neglecting their children for 6 nights in a row in an unlocked apartment with no adult supervision, and just cause Kate gives out free perscriptions of Cocain to the social services and police in Leicestershire, don't mean she's drugged the entire world to keep their gobs shut about her bad parenting skills, hehehehee.

  9. To Anonymous, YOU should be ashamed of yourself. Supporting a pair of " celebrity child neglectors " who are both the shame of the UK. Now ........... CHASE YOURSELF !

  10. Someone brought up the subject on a forum of the McCanns and family using fund money to stay in 5* hotels. A big change from the basic self catering apartment in Praia De Luz. If you were looking for your missing child anything would do just to base yourself. You would think they would want to spend less money on living arrangements so as the fund is used MORE to find the missing child. More lies and B/S me thinks. Kathie 20

  11. Hey Anonymous, why don't you post some proof to discredit our posts that prove the McCann's havn't been putting Kate's parents and the rest of their family and friends up in 5 star hotels and flights to Praia for Kate to go jogging on the beach in Prais which all the locals have winessed for the last 4 year's, cause a heart surgens wage's in the NHS certainly dosn't pay for a £350,000 mortgage on a house in Rothley for long, least of all their globe trotting family and friend hang on's to support Kate's pathetic attempt at covering up her drug and alcohol addictions with the act of a grieving Niobi! So unless you can put up, then shut up, cause your comments are nothing more than rants of a mentally retarded imbasile whose obviously still living in a fairy tale world... is you name Kate McCann by any chance, hahahahaa!

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