Please God Is She Dead?
SATURDAY, MAY 26: We went to an amusement park with the kids. Some phone calls, emails etc. Not a very good day for either the two of us' some dark thoughts/ frustrations/ desperation creeping in. Some tears.
SUNDAY, JUNE 24: Oh, Madeleine, I find the nights so difficult and only God knows how things are going to find you. I just want to say, once again, that you have been the most special and amazing thing that ever happened to me.I've never felt such love for another person. I hope and I trust that God and Mary are protecting you and I only know that Dad and I and all your wonderful family and friends will continue to search for you, and we all long for the day when you will be back with us again' FOREVER! XX
Good night. Good night darling. I love you XXXXXXXX
SATURDAY, JULY 7: We had breakfast and got the children ready as usual. At 10.30 the four of us went to the Algarve Shopping Centre.
The plan was to buy sandals and some other things for the children. However the journey was a disaster. We had to stop three times on the way there, since Sean and Amelie were crying alternately.
SATURDAY, JULY 21: I continue to feel very low. I miss Madeleine so much. It's as if a ray of light has disappeared from my life. There's no doubt that Madeleine is that ray and I miss her more than words can say.
We just wrote our blogs/diaries. Once again those dark thoughts returned, linked with feelings of anxiety, fear and worry. How much longer will we have to cope with this pain'
My poor, poor Madeleine. Why, Lord' My heart aches with so much love for you, Madeleine. I just hate being without you.
(Kate then relives the last time they saw Madeleine in the Ocean Club apartment.)
If I could go back in time, I would. I have clear recollections of that night. You were so tired. After your baths, you sat on my knee and put my wedding ring on your finger. We (me, you, Sean and Amelie) read 'Mog' in the living area and then 'if you're happy and you know it'. We all sat down on your bed.
Then you counted the squares on the last page. You were always counting things on pages...always laying your head on your pillow at the same time every night. Madeleine you make me so happy. I just want you home. I love you so much. XXXXXXX
MONDAY, JULY 23: I got up at 7.00 and went running. I was surrounded by a pack of dogs (more or less 12)'it really wasn't a nice experience. HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE